We sometimes are asked why we are doing this — why the blog, why testifying in legislative sessions, why contacting the media and why spend so much time and energy on Guardianship Reform?

There is no money in this.  In fact, our work comes at great expense to us.  It won’t bring back our loved ones, it won’t repair the damage done.  Our only hope is to try to prevent others from experiencing this.  It takes a multi-pronged approach.

It’s been speculated that we do this to torment Kristyan Calhoun with some vendetta.  While completely off-base, this kind of narcissism may be the root of the problem with most family dynamics and corrupt guardians.  It takes a certain amount of sociopathy to exploit the elderly and play the role of the victim when held accountable.

We have learned the same lesson that others have when attempting to fight a corrupt guardian — the legal system protects them with rabid loyalty.  We’ve heard Superior Court Judges opine for several minutes that our pursuit of justice was too expensive and a waste of money.  The last person you would expect to defend money over justice would be a judge.  To a point, it is true – many people who attempt to fight corruption in the guardianship system find themselves financially exhausted with not even a hint of justice served.  This says more about the Courts than it does about the victims, and frankly is more an admission of guilt on the part of the Court.

How We Ended Up Here

Back in 2004 my husband’s parents named him their PoA, added him to their joint accounts, and made him executor of their wills.  Around 2015 as their health declined, he began taking a more active role in their care.  Jeff put in grab bars in their home, fixed their roof, replaced their patio, hired in-home caregivers for them, and by 2016 assisted his mother, Kathryn, with her bills.  His sister Shelley assisted them daily with errands, appointments, grocery shopping, house-keeping, and a litany of other things they needed.  At the same time, their activities invoked the ire of their sister Kristi who lived in another town.  There were numerous instances of Kristi coming to town to visit and leaving, and Kathryn being inconsolable because of a fight they’d had.  Things came to a head multiple times, but the most memorable was in 2014 when Kristi became angered by Shelley’s daughter Kimberly.  While at Keith and Kathryn’s home, Kristi chased Kimberly through the house, screaming at her and punching her.  Kristi’s husband Tom implored Kristi to stop or he’d leave.  She did not, so he drove away, leaving Jeff’s parents, Keith and Kathryn, alone in the house with a violent and dangerous 66 year old woman in a blind rage.  This was upsetting to everyone in the family, however charges were never pressed because that’s what abuse victims do – push it under the rug.  Maybe it won’t happen again.  The fallout from pressing charges would be worse than the assault.

At that same event, Kathryn confided in me that Kristi was badgering her about Kathryn’s finances.  Kathryn smacked her hand on the table and hissed at me, “It’s none of her damn business!”

I bore witness to Kristi’s uncontrolled rage first-hand while visiting my mother-in-law at the assisted living facility in 2016.  Jeff had been summoned by the bank where he and his parents held accounts.  There was something suspicious happening, someone alleging to be Kathryn’s daughter was insisting she be added to their joint accounts.  The bank assured Jeff that they would give her no access without his signature.  This was unsettling.  Kathryn was on heavy doses of oxycodone and wore a Fentanyl patch.  She attended radiation appointments daily and took antidepressants.  Blinded with macular degeneration and diagnosed with dementia, Kathryn was in no position to sign anything.  We learned that Kristi took her to a lawyer (a distant cousin – Bryan Myre) to invoke a new Power of Attorney which added Kristi and Tom and specifically stated they could act independently.

“There were several Powers of Attorneys revoked, and made and revoked during the months preceding the petition.  Jeff Owen, the petitioner, was acting as the alternate PoA for Kathryn under the first Durable P of A, dated 2/9/2004 related to finances and personal and health care decision making.  That P of A was revoked on 6/10/16 in a confusing Financial P of A giving authority to both Kristy [sic] and Jeff, and Kristy’s husband, Tom, to act independently of each other for Mrs. Owen’s best interest.   That P of A was executed giving only Kristy and Tom authority to act for Mrs. Owen.  Mr. Jeff Owen alleges that Kristy knowingly influenced their mother who, they agreed, suffered from dementia in the revocation and making of these last two Ps of A.”  Guardian ad Litem Report of Amy Clark filed 3/1/2017 No. 16400 645 39

Not long after Jeff’s refusal to add Kristi to the bank accounts, Kristi took Kathryn to sign more documents, this time removing Jeff entirely from the PoA and also putting up all of her properties for sale significantly below market value.  (Of 104 3 bedroom homes on the market, their home was the second-lowest-priced at that time.  It sold in hours.) This was all done secretly, so secretly in fact that there was significant question whether Kathryn even realized what happened.

We went to visit Kathryn when we learned that the properties went up for sale and Kristi and her husband Tom were at the assisted living facility.  By this time it was clear that Kristi sought to isolate Kathryn from the family.  It was also clear that Kristi would not only physically attack anyone who got in her way, but also would direct her rage at Kathryn as she had done so many times before.

At the assisted living facility, Kristi approached me abruptly, hissing, “give this to your husband, he is INSANE!” and shoved an envelope at my chest.  I put my hands up and refused to take whatever it was.  I told her to give it to him herself, he was standing right there.  For whatever reason she targeted me again, to the point that I unwillingly stepped back.  Kathryn grew upset by the tension and tried to redirect Kristi.  Kathryn asked me to have a visit with her and she sat on a sofa.  Kristi inserted herself and tried to hold the envelope between Kathryn’s and my faces as we talked.  She then began swatting her mother on the leg, whacking her with the back of her hand and saying, “don’t tell her anything, mother!  don’t talk to her!”  Considering we were talking about Kathryn’s trip to Dairy Queen I had no idea what could possibly have been so secretive or upsetting.

Kristi turned to me and said, “You’re mom’s dead, leave mine alone!”  Kathryn gasped at that statement and tried to rebuke Kristi, who swatted her again.

By this time it was clear to me that the more I interacted with Kathryn, the more abusive toward her Kristi became.  Jeff had been in the office of the Executive Director when this happened and they both came out to witness some of the exchange.  Later, after extricating ourselves from the scene and having time to sit with Caela Bianchi, he ED of the facility, she asked, “are you okay?”  The tears came and I couldn’t stop them.  I couldn’t imagine what life was like for Kathryn anytime she was alone in the room with Kristi.

“Care providers and other employees at Highgate Senior Living attest to the high conflict nature of sibling interactions and that the conflict has included their mother.  They describe one incident in which Kathryn was literally physically caught between two siblings regarding disagreement on accompaniment to a medical appointment and another in which one sibling [Kristi] was urging the mother to not respond to another family visitor situated on the other side of her [Teresa].”  Guardian ad Litem Report of Amy Clark filed 3/1/2017 No. 16400 645 39

Caela suggested that we consider a third-party guardian.  We’d never heard of anything like that.  She explained to us that the third party guardian was appointed by the courts, and had the oversight of the Superior Court.  For me, this was a no-brainer.  I feared for my safety and for Jeff’s.  I believed that a third-party might reduce the amount of contention between Kristi and the family.  I believed they would be neutral and objective.  Jeff wisely was a little more skeptical.

We gave it some thought, but we ultimately knew that something had to be done, fast.

Appointment of Third Party Guardian

We sought legal counsel and a temporary guardian was appointed for Keith and Kathryn.  Immediately, Kristi alleged that Jeff had been stealing from his parents for years, even going so far as writing a letter to Kathryn’s GP that Jeff was free-loading off of his parents.  This seemed a rather unhinged approach to further isolating Kathryn, but not out of character for Kristi.

Kristi repeatedly demanded that Jeff hand over financial documents.  Jeff consulted with his mother who stated that there was no need to.  He told Kristi that the PoA she had gave her access and she could gather the information she wanted herself.

We learned that Kristi retaliated by making allegations of theft against Jeff.  In the March GAL report Amy Clark states: “The guardian should also investigate issues raised by Kristy [sic] Ernsberger.  They include potential misuse of funds and property by her brother, Jeff, who acted as the P of A for Kathryn and Keith for several years.  These issues should be investigated by the guardian within the first ninety days and a report made to the court.” Guardian ad Litem Report of Amy Clark filed 3/1/2017 No. 16400 645 39

Immediately upon the guardian being appointed, we handed over his parents’ bills and bank account information to the guardian.  The guardian had their mailing address changed to send all mail to her office.  I was relieved to have this off our plates.  We were already working full time and running our own business.  Jeff had given up his position in the cherry harvest so that he could attend to his parents’ needs, driving them to hundreds of appointments, sometimes 5 days a week.  We looked forward to getting our own lives back and being able to spend quality time with his parents rather than dealing with the administrative hassles, and we optimistically believed that this would curb Kristi’s abuse.  Certainly it would take us out of her crosshairs.

We assumed that the bank information we provided at the time of Kristyan Calhoun’s appointment satisfied the recommendations by Amy Clark, as we never heard anything further about it until July of 2017 when Kristyan Calhoun made statements to multiple parties – including Kathryn – that Jeff had withdrawn over $100,000 in funds from a joint account he shared with his parents.  The problem with this assertion came from the same sloppiness that caused Kristyan Calhoun to bounce checks, let insurances lapse for non-payment, and even have Kathryn sent to collections for failure to pay a utility bill.  A simple scan of the bank records shows that the $100,000 “withdrawals” over the course of several years were actually transfers from one account to their checking account from which Kathryn drafted checks for their living expenses.  (Incidentally, once Jeff began assisting her with her bills, their monthly spending decreased by hundreds of dollars.)  Kristyan Calhoun’s mischaracterization of the activity as “withdrawals” rather than “transfers” was devastating to both Jeff and Kathryn.  Kathryn was already struggling with the death of her husband, and to be presented with malicious attack of her son’s character – the son she’d trusted for so many years and who she elected as her PoA – from a trusted Court Appointee shook her.

What we should have done, in retrospect, is just pursue the guardianship that was built in to the original PoA appointing Jeff as guardian if Kathryn or Keith were incapacitated.  This would have put an end to everything, and at least assured us some way of protecting them from Kristi’s abuse and exploitation.  It also would’ve preserved their assets and sustained them for a longer time.  According to Kristyan Calhoun’s inventory of their assets in March of 2017, they had around $550,000 in assets.  Mysteriously, she did not inventory at that time the joint account that was listed in the order appointing her as guardian.  This should have caused us concern, but we trusted her as a Certified Professional Guardian.  Do not make that mistake!  Turns out, it was the same account she eventually stated that Jeff took money from.

As of March 2019, the estate had been spent down to $100,000.

“The first week of March 2019, Kristyan Calhoon [sic] called me and said that mom had about $100,000 left. ”  Declaration of Kristi Enrsberger.  Case No. 19-4-00425-04

$450,000 gone in 2 years.

Not long after Kristyan Calhoun was appointed temporary guardian, we began receiving cancellation notices for non-payment of bills, late payment notices, and disconnection notices for Jeff’s parents’ phone.  Dr. appointments were missed or not communicated at all, or the staff at Senior Avenues took Keith and Kathryn on the wrong day.  Soon, Kristi began taking Kathryn to the bank to withdraw funds from the joint accounts — accounts which Jeff was listed on (the problem with this is that Kristi had already alleged Jeff had been stealing, and it was clear that she was of the character that would sabotage Jeff for her own means).  Kathryn exhibited the typical patterns of dementia that Kristi had outlined in her letter to Jeff from the year before — hallucinations, inability to make financial decisions, inability to remember certain things, needing to be prompted, forgetting her name and the names of her family members.  (These were all observations Kristi made prior to having Kathryn change her PoA twice and list all of her property for sale.)

The GAL report indicated that Kathryn lacked capacity and had been manipulated by Kristi to sign the PoAs and sell the property against her will:
“Therefore, given the secrecy and the circumstances in the signing of the last few Ps of A, I question Mrs. Owen’s freedom in giving sole authority to Kristy and Tom, and believe that she was influenced to do so.  Because of this, I believe that the P of A of 9/30/16 should not be followed.  This includes the portion that grants guardianship to Kristi and Tom Ernsberger.”  GAL Report of Amy Clark filed 3/1/2017 No. 16400 645 39

The Guardian, Kristyan Calhoun, stated that it was always Kathryn’s “competent desire” to keep the family cabin within the family rather than sell it to strangers.  Instead, the cabin had never been offered to anyone in the family, though Kathryn believed it had been and no one wanted to buy it.

All of this came to a head when Keith fell ill at the assisted living facility.  Jeff’s daughter, Lacey — a veterinarian — and his sister Shelley complained to the assisted living facility that Keith was congested and sick.  Lacey complained on May 22nd of 2017.  She confirmed that the Senior Living Facility informed Kristyan Calhoun of Keith’s condition.  This is where guardianship executed by a lazy and careless guardian is deadly – everyone was powerless to do anything.  Only the guardian could.

From the onset of the guardianship in November of 2016, Jeff and Shelley both asked repeatedly if Keith had his pneumonia shot.  He’d received one for years – the CDC recommends anyone over 65 get it, and it’s proven effective.  Kristyan Calhoun was unresponsive to those requests for the 6 months preceding Keith’s hospitalization.

It took two weeks from Lacey and Shelley’s complaints and notification by the Senior Living Facility to Kristyan Calhoun and Senior Avenues staff for Keith to finally be taken to the E.R.

6 days later he died of pneumonia.

5 days later we received a notice of insufficient funds for a $5890 check drafted from the joint account Jeff shared with his parents.  It was drafted by the guardian Kristyan Calhoun.  This wasn’t a clerical error.  This was against a balance of $1200.

The pain that we witnessed Jeff’s parents endure, watching everything they worked for get frittered away and his mother have to move into a Medicaid facility after years of scrimping and saving, and the calls from Jeff’s mother in the night when she cried and said, “make it stop!  They told me you were against me!” are all part of why we are doing this.  No one should ever have to experience it.

The only way this can be prevented is through reform, education, and information.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Jeff’s mother died in March of 2020.  In many ways, this enables us to freely speak about our ordeal.  As long as she was alive, we knew that anything we said or did about our case would cause her a great deal of pain.  This is one way the guardians and abusive family members keep their victims under their thumb.  According to the billing statements submitted by Kristyan Calhoun for the last 2 years, the only visits she made to Kathryn were to report to her that we’d left negative reviews on Kristyan Calhoun’s Senior Avenues website and requested an accounting of Kristyan Calhoun’s activity.  Knowing Kristi’s violent nature and Kristyan Calhoun’s bullying methods, we had abstained from any comments that would put Kathryn in the strike zone.  It was a matter of safety.

Now, we are free to tell our story, only we will suffer any backlash and in the grand scheme of things, we can tolerate that as the risk of “doing the right thing.”

Change hurts, but the need for change is painful too.

If you or a loved one is a victim of guardianship abuse, we want to hear your story.  Please reach out to us at TeresaOwen@guardianshipfocus.com